During The Pajama Party Panel at Woman Evolve 2018, there was a moment when we all shared things that we’d like to receive prayer over. My initial unpremeditated answer was: rest.
Five days later I can hear the sound of the ocean wrestling with the shore, my husband’s fingertips trace the inside of my wrist, and my mind is flooded with thoughts about making the content available to those who are asking, learning from 2018, and session topics for 2019. I’m standing in one moment, but thinking about a moment a year from now.
<insert prayer request…>
I asked for prayers regarding rest from my sisters because I was afraid that I would become so consumed with next that I miss now. That’s a pattern I have that I must become intentional about breaking. I’m always looking, learning, and planning ahead, but the truth is that forward robs me of now. I wonder how many of us are so consumed with what we will conquer next that we don’t take time to appreciate what we’ve overcome now!
I just turned 30 years old, and I was waiting to have this moment of liberation and confidence. It took day 3 of vacation for me to feel something similar to it and it wasn’t because it just hit me out of nowhere. It came because I finally released myself to stop obsessing over next and take in now. Next will always be waiting for you, but if you aren’t careful, you will miss the treasures buried in now. I realized that greater than rest what I want is the commitment to not lose what exists in moments of stillness.
I don’t want to miss it…
I don’t want to miss the way my husband studies my face when I’m not paying attention. I don’t want to miss the sun setting after a long day of providing warmth. I don’t want to miss that God has answered and exceeded my prayers. I don’t want to miss an opportunity to have gratitude for knowing and living out my purpose at such a young age. I don’t want to miss that the stretch marks that make me cringe came from the gift of carrying life within me. I don’t want to miss that God has blessed me with friends who’ve become family who create an environment for my children to enjoy so that I can get away.
What are you missing that you don’t have to? I’m praying that God will allow me to evolve in the knowledge of life patience. I have people patience. I will listen to your story for as long as it takes you to get it out, but I seem to rush through life. I believe life has more to tell me than any person around me. Life will show me how much I’ve grown and become. Life will tell me that God has heard me. Life will reveal that I’m not here on my own. God knows I don’t want to miss life’s whispers because I’m thinking about my own plan.
Sending you love and prayers that we can collectively take a moment in the busyness of our plans and day to simply not miss how far we’ve come, the glorious things God has done, and the creativity in now that will produce a better next.