Originally published 1/2/2014
I know how difficult it is to let go when you believed so fervently that it was meant to be. I know what it’s like to watch a dream play in your head that you no longer believe will exist in your life. I recognize the fear that comes with the unknown. Redefining your tomorrow to fit your reality is never easy. How else can you start the journey of becoming whole unless you’re honest that pieces of you are missing? Can you identify what the pieces are and when life chipped them away? Do you know when you lost you? I know you want the purpose without the process, but right now you cannot have what you want and become the person God needs.
There is a process for everything and right now your time has not come. It’s hard to not become discouraged when you see everyone moving around you, yet you’re still trying to find your way. You cannot force change, you can only inspire it and you can’t inspire any one who won’t let you in. You became so numb you forgot what it was like to feel. You forgot to live. You forgot how much confidence comes when you can inspire yourself.
I think it’s time to let go of what you can’t control and accept the things within your power to change. If you can’t fix it it’s because God wanted you to trust Him and if you truly trust Him show Him by letting go. You’re so set on things going your way that you don’t realize you can get to the same destination you just have to take a different route. If you let life’s detours cancel your destination then you didn’t dream big enough. Whatever lies ahead of you must be worth the process you’ll have to go through or quitting will always be easy. You can’t give up on something God has for you. Be patient. Be comfortable with things being in His control.
Finally See the Good in Goodbye
You scare me. I won’t get into how exciting you are because everyone can see that. I want you to know that I believe it’s my time and I’m coming for you. My hopes are set on bringing out the best of me every chance I get. I just want you to know I’m not sure the best of me will be enough. I have faith, I trust God, and I’m ready to fight…
I just wanted to explain the tremble in my hand and the cracks in my voice. I wanted you to understand I’m coming to slay my giant with a slingshot. I know they say the odds are against me , but I have the greatest force of all with me. God has trusted me with this mission for reasons I can’t explain so every one-I encounter must see a glimpse of Him in me. I have no room for fear or doubt in my life, yet they’re still here. Each day I pursue my purpose I give my fear an eviction notice. It may never fully go away, but at least it knows it’s not welcomed and it won’t stop me from living. My fear is my audience and I can’t wait to put on this show.
I’m afraid of failure. I’m afraid of criticism. I’m afraid of rumors. I’m afraid that my heart will be questioned but bigger than all of that I’m afraid to be out of God’s will. I just didn’t realize that being in His will may mean that I have to face the other fears head on. So here I am looking at something so promising and it’s guarded by every fear I tried to avoid.
I want my something beautiful though and I won’t let anything, not even the walls I created, keep me from having it.
I’ll Do it Afraid
From the moment our eyes locked I knew that God trusted you to keep me focused. There are some people you know are only in your life for a season and others you know were a gift from God to help see you through. You are my forever. And while I know this is the time of the year when many reassess the relationships in their lives I want you to know your role cannot be questioned. During my most scorching pain your love has been my favorite breeze. Even when I wanted to face things alone to spare you from my shame, you found a way in. You make me a better me and I could never let that go. There are many uncertainties in life, but you are not one. I can count on you. I haven’t even trusted you with every part of me, but I have no doubt I could. That’s why I’ll never let you go.
Life is too unpredictable to have a team you can’t depend on. You always show up, suited, and ready to tackle whatever obstacle lies ahead of me. And because I value you I don’t abuse my access to your strength. I’m so glad God gave me you right when I needed you the most. Your heartbeat is my favorite reminder that all things work together for the good of those who love Him and it only makes me want to love Him more for you. My heart’s favorite lullaby I’m not sure I’d want to be much of anything if I couldn’t share it with you.
I had to let go of a few old things to hold you. I finally turned my back on my past so I could really see you. And now that I see why God blessed the world with you, I promise to protect the good in you with all that’s good within me. I won’t allow my love to be filtered with bitterness. I won’t force my tomorrow to live in my past. I offer my love for you to God and trust that He will use it to past our your fears. And because I feel better when I’m around you I want to thank you for letting God filter your love for me.
Thank you for protecting my innocence with your wisdom and being gentle with my fears. Thank you for being careful with my heart.
Never Letting You Go
There are old things we must let go and leave behind, new things we must learn to embrace, and forevers we must protect at any costs. Give us the wisdom to know the difference and strength to open our arms.