Learning to Dwell

Ever felt yourself wondering why you have to be the bigger person? Do you feel personally responsible to fix everything that goes wrong in your sphere? There are moments when this becomes overwhelming and we'd rather take off our cape and see if any other superheroes have clocked in. I'm learning that it's through those circumstances that God reveals to us the depths of our strength. There are times when God presents problems in our lives that force us to find answers. But who wants to be the one constantly fixing problems? 


I was reading John 15 before bed and read a verse that challenged me: “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.” John‬ ‭15:4‬ ‭NKJV‬‬. Not gonna lie, my initial thoughts were, "ain't nobody got time for that!" What does it mean to abide in Christ? For me, abiding in Him is how I chose to see and function in my sometimes crazy world. 


It's a place of peace, patience, joy, kindness, forgiveness, compassion, and love. But guess what? I like to be petty. It's one of my favorite things to do. Sometimes I'm tempted to treat people the way they treat me. I don't always want to lead in reconciliation or be the bigger person. There are times when I want to let people figure it out for themselves while I sit back and watch.  


Then I read scriptures like those in John 15 and I'm reminded that the world doesn't become better when I have an attitude. The world does not become better when I choose to allow other people to suffer when giving them just a piece of my time or small push of motivation could alter their destiny. 


More and more I'm beginning to pack my boxes from petty boulevard so that I can begin to dwell in Christ. I still may keep a summer home on the boulevard, but for the most part I want to strive each day to see this world (and the people in it) the way Christ does. 


I know in Him is knowledge that will show me how to be generous without being taken advantage of, wise without being critical, and sensitive on what jobs are for me versus those only He can handle. 



Purify my heart. Help me to live in a place of humility that doesn't exalt myself over those around me. Do not allow the overcoming of my pain to make me critical of other people's journey. Continue to make me sensitive to the hurting people who dwell in this world by establishing my heart and mind in the palm of Your hands. 



Getting Uncomfortable  


Join me on the getting uncomfortable to become unstoppable journey by clicking here to preorder Don't Settle for Safe and downloading the first three chapters of my new book instantly. 



Friends Again?

I started this blog in the middle of what would become a defining moment in my life. I had no idea how many lives God would allow my story to touch or the platforms He would allow for me to grace. Initially, I had no pressure to be anything other than who I am. All I took on any stage was my truth and the divine belief that my destiny was more important than my past. Who could have known that my life would take such a drastic change? I sure didn’t!

It all began in 2011. Since then so much of my life has evolved. I wanted to update my blog to keep you in the loop, but I thought my first post after being away had to be….like…revolutionary! I forgot that in the initial stages what made this blog my baby was that there was no pressure, just truth. I didn’t care about the grammar police (see previous posts as evidence) or the idea of gossip blogs writing about what I shared. This blog was never about you thinking I had it more together than I do or that you’ve got more work to do than any of the rest of us. This was the place where we could gather around our screens and feel the warmth that comes with knowing we aren’t alone.

I plan to start writing and chronicling my story through this blog again. I can’t promise that it will always be inspirational, spiritual, prophetic, comical, powerful, or revolutionary, but I hope all of those things will be sprinkled in it. What I can promise is that it will be authentic. It will be as honest as my courage and vulnerability will allow me to be. Prayerfully it will be a mirror of some part of your soul that you’re struggling to embrace.  

So with that being said….

Chile… I’m fat…I’m not even joking. And, no…this isn’t me writing so that you can fill my comments with a mountain of excuses. Yes, I know I had a baby 8 months ago. Yes, I know that in some states I would just be considered thick.  I do love my body, which is why I can’t continue to satisfy every single craving I have.  But trust me when I say….Ya girl is out here packing on those pounds. I won’t even get into the guilty pleasures that have become my norm or the lengths at which I go to hide my sugary, processed treats from my crumb snatching children. Just trust me when I say I can’t continue eating the way I have. I have an unhealthy relationship with food. It’s like every sorry ex I’ve ever had. You know they aren’t good for you. In the back of your mind you know that things will not end well, yet you just can’t seem to walk away. When I’m happy, it’s time for cake. When I’m sad, I need a cookie. When I don’t know exactly how I feel, I snack until I figure it out.

Sometime between when I started this blog and now I lost fifty pounds. I’m not saying that I’ve gained that weight back, but I am saying that it’s not as lost as I once thought it was…. I convinced myself that losing weight and changing my eating habits was less about knowing what to do and more about having a reason to do it. I thought that my motivation would center around an event or important moment, but I realize that is not true because those moments have come and gone.

It’s ultimately about inner dominion. My husband has been preaching a series about the gears of destiny. One of the gears is self-control. He does a much better job at explaining it than I do, but it convicted me. How can we ask God to do more with our life when we don’t fully master what is within our control? I can remember the first time I lost weight I felt like I spent more time hating my body than it took me to actually change it. All it took was a little bit of discipline. So, as I prepare to hop back on the vegetable, exercise, no fried food, no bread, no sugar, no processed food, no fun train I wanted to drop you a line.


There may be something in your life that seems like it has control of you, but the reality is you’ve forgotten how much power is within you. You have become so comfortable in the rhythm your pattern has created that you’ve failed to fully maximize your potential. No one you admire got there by staying on cruise control. They made a decision to kick into another gear. They chose to not be confined by excuses when they could take control.

 I want to ask you to join me on a journey.

Join me as I begin to tap into another dimension of my identity. At times the journey may challenge you to break out of your comfort zone. It may even force you to walk away from relationships or environments that affirm (but don’t heal) your insecurities. Over the next few weeks/months/years I want to share my process with you. At times it may be identical to yours, other times it may just be a cautionary tale. Either way, I’m here because I want to turn my life into a lesson that helps you master what God has for you.

So.... sit back, relax, put the cookie down, and let’s get ready to be friends again.